CALLER: Is this Pizza Delight?
GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought over Pizza Delight last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, Sir?
CALLER: My usual. Do you know me?
GOOGLE: According to your caller ID data sheet, the last ten times you called, you have ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meat-balls on a thick crust.
CALLER: OK! That's what I want ...
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a vegan Pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER: Why a Vegan Pizza? I detest vegetables.
GOOGLE: Your Cholesterol levels are not good, Sir.
CALLER: How the hell do you know?
GOOGLE: Well Sir, we cross-referenced your Mobile phone number with your medical records. We have with us, the result of your blood tests for the last seven years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication regularly, for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased one box of 30 cholesterol tablets only once in the recent past, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more medication from another drugstore.
GOOGLE: That doesn't show on your credit card statement, Sir.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash, according to your bank statements.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn't show in your last Tax Return, unless you bought the Tablets using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER: WHAT THE HELL!!
GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information, only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already !! I'm sick and tired of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others.
I'm going to a remote island without any Internet, Netflix, Cable TV, where there is no Cell phone service and no Big Brother to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand Sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired six weeks ago...
GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought over Pizza Delight last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, Sir?
CALLER: My usual. Do you know me?
GOOGLE: According to your caller ID data sheet, the last ten times you called, you have ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meat-balls on a thick crust.
CALLER: OK! That's what I want ...
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a vegan Pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER: Why a Vegan Pizza? I detest vegetables.
GOOGLE: Your Cholesterol levels are not good, Sir.
CALLER: How the hell do you know?
GOOGLE: Well Sir, we cross-referenced your Mobile phone number with your medical records. We have with us, the result of your blood tests for the last seven years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication regularly, for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased one box of 30 cholesterol tablets only once in the recent past, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more medication from another drugstore.
GOOGLE: That doesn't show on your credit card statement, Sir.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash, according to your bank statements.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn't show in your last Tax Return, unless you bought the Tablets using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER: WHAT THE HELL!!
GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information, only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already !! I'm sick and tired of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others.
I'm going to a remote island without any Internet, Netflix, Cable TV, where there is no Cell phone service and no Big Brother to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand Sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired six weeks ago...