🎱 laws that will prevent people from controlling you.
1. You need it - you do it.
Every time the word “need” is heard in a conversation, when it comes to duty or obligations, it is worth asking the question “Who needs this?”. Manipulators like to keep silent about the fact that they need what they want in the first place. For example, a parent's phrase, "You need to find a job," cleared of manipulation, would sound like this: "I need you to stop sitting on my neck and go to work." In the meantime, the lad does not have to go to work, he sits comfortably on his neck.
2. Don't promise. If you promised, do it.
Remember how often under pressure from other people you made rash promises. The manipulator will deliberately push you to make rash promises, and then exploit your guilt. Just do not promise, but if you already promised, do it. Then next time think twice before taking on unnecessary obligations.
3. Do not ask - do not go.
It often happens that we, guided by good intentions, only make things worse. We were simply not asked for help. Then our efforts are taken for granted. It is even worse when instead of one person another asks. Helping in such a situation, we also violate the law "You need it - you do it." If it seems obvious to you that a person needs help, take the opportunity to ask him if he is ready to accept it from you. All of a sudden, the girl with her heel stuck in the drain grate set it up on purpose to get to know that handsome guy over there. And you, beech, took and ruined everything. They could have at least asked.
4. Do not refuse a request.
Any request implies gratitude. Manipulators tend to make empty promises or forget about favors. Follow the request, but do not hesitate to ask for a favor in return. Perhaps even beforehand.
5. Live in the present (not the past or the future).
One of the most important laws, it helps to easily destroy the manipulations of comparison with you in the past. We never want to be worse than ourselves, this is often used by other people. For example, the manipulation “You weren’t like this before” is easily destroyed by “It used to be before”. Promises of a sweet future, promises of half of the skin of an unkilled bear immediately stop after the question “So it will be later, but what exactly do you offer now?”.
6. Don't get attached.
How often do we become attached to a person, object, or activity? How strong can this attachment be without compromising our sanity? Everyone has their own answer to this question. Just remember, these emotional connections make it easy for you to be blackmailed. Don't let your loved ones become domestic terrorists, don't get stuck.
7. Don't set a goal (the goal should serve as a beacon).
For me it was the strangest law. It is important for me to be purposeful. It took me some time to realize his wisdom. That is why I prefer his wording with the addition of a lighthouse. If the goal is set incorrectly, then after its achievement, devastation occurs. Most likely, this goal is imposed on you from the outside. Therefore, always ask yourself or the people who inspire you to accomplish the question “And then what?”. Let me give as an example one of the favorite phrases of all parents: “You need to get a higher education.” And then what? You can be a realtor, trade consultant or start your own business without higher education.
8. Don't interfere. The most ingenious of all laws
.
They can and should be used both in relation to themselves and in relation to other people. The phrase "Do not interfere, please" can work wonders. The main thing is to say it before you start getting irritated.
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1. You need it - you do it.
Every time the word “need” is heard in a conversation, when it comes to duty or obligations, it is worth asking the question “Who needs this?”. Manipulators like to keep silent about the fact that they need what they want in the first place. For example, a parent's phrase, "You need to find a job," cleared of manipulation, would sound like this: "I need you to stop sitting on my neck and go to work." In the meantime, the lad does not have to go to work, he sits comfortably on his neck.
2. Don't promise. If you promised, do it.
Remember how often under pressure from other people you made rash promises. The manipulator will deliberately push you to make rash promises, and then exploit your guilt. Just do not promise, but if you already promised, do it. Then next time think twice before taking on unnecessary obligations.
3. Do not ask - do not go.
It often happens that we, guided by good intentions, only make things worse. We were simply not asked for help. Then our efforts are taken for granted. It is even worse when instead of one person another asks. Helping in such a situation, we also violate the law "You need it - you do it." If it seems obvious to you that a person needs help, take the opportunity to ask him if he is ready to accept it from you. All of a sudden, the girl with her heel stuck in the drain grate set it up on purpose to get to know that handsome guy over there. And you, beech, took and ruined everything. They could have at least asked.
4. Do not refuse a request.
Any request implies gratitude. Manipulators tend to make empty promises or forget about favors. Follow the request, but do not hesitate to ask for a favor in return. Perhaps even beforehand.
5. Live in the present (not the past or the future).
One of the most important laws, it helps to easily destroy the manipulations of comparison with you in the past. We never want to be worse than ourselves, this is often used by other people. For example, the manipulation “You weren’t like this before” is easily destroyed by “It used to be before”. Promises of a sweet future, promises of half of the skin of an unkilled bear immediately stop after the question “So it will be later, but what exactly do you offer now?”.
6. Don't get attached.
How often do we become attached to a person, object, or activity? How strong can this attachment be without compromising our sanity? Everyone has their own answer to this question. Just remember, these emotional connections make it easy for you to be blackmailed. Don't let your loved ones become domestic terrorists, don't get stuck.
7. Don't set a goal (the goal should serve as a beacon).
For me it was the strangest law. It is important for me to be purposeful. It took me some time to realize his wisdom. That is why I prefer his wording with the addition of a lighthouse. If the goal is set incorrectly, then after its achievement, devastation occurs. Most likely, this goal is imposed on you from the outside. Therefore, always ask yourself or the people who inspire you to accomplish the question “And then what?”. Let me give as an example one of the favorite phrases of all parents: “You need to get a higher education.” And then what? You can be a realtor, trade consultant or start your own business without higher education.
8. Don't interfere. The most ingenious of all laws
.
They can and should be used both in relation to themselves and in relation to other people. The phrase "Do not interfere, please" can work wonders. The main thing is to say it before you start getting irritated.
💠Join 🔺 Share @Business_Idea4 💠